The Warren Report » video blog

TWILIGHT’s last dreaming? (video blog)

Warren — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 14:46:07 +0000

Some young starlets get better reviews for their sex tapes than their movies. Others are better received stepping panty-less from their limos than when baring their souls at auditions. Some young stars succumb to the illicit lures of celebrity, the magnetic attraction of idol worship. But one Teen Beat poster-boy refuses to succumb to Hollywood’s madness. One tousled-hair hero refuses to sacrifice his soul while breaking others’ hearts. Who is this selfless slice of beefcake? Watch today’s THINK! piece for a taste. Then, draw your own conclusions. Is the sequel-shooting stud a model of virtue, honestly foregoing all the fish in the sea or just a finicky angler hoping to winnow the minnows before dipping his ten-foot pole in the waters?

This Dad’s Life? (video blog)

Warren — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:10:29 +0000

Dads come in all shapes and sizes, full of crullers and weed. They can be negligent or deadbeat, abandoning or abusive. Perhaps, a few, even turn out well. Of course they do. And for them, Father’s Day should be a celebration of that rarest breed, the man who strives to raise a family responsibly. For those brave souls, The Warren Report — in conjunction with Kim Ricketts Book Events — is proud to offer two special editions of Words & Wine, at The Pan Pacific Hotel, that honor these best men and their greatest achievements. Watch today’s THINK! piece for a taste of tonight’s treat with author Michael Lewis (tickets may be purchased at the door), then read on to discover who’ll join me on Monday the 15th.

Remember for your modest admission fee, you’ll receive a free, autographed copy of the guest’s book, free wine — courtesy of Chateau St. Michelle — and an hour of free speech moderated by yours truly. Put a bow on it and your Father’s Day will come earlier than a journalist to a free buffet/press launch!

Michael Lewis

Next up in Words & Wine is an evening with Michael Lewis. The bestselling author of Liar’s Poker, Moneyball, The Blind Side, Coach and others, Lewis now turns his journalist’s eye on his own brand of modern fatherhood.

Home Game: An Accidental Guide to Fatherhood is the written record of what actually happened after the birth of each of his three children. It is maybe the funniest, most unsparing account of ordinary daily household life ever recorded, from the point of view of the man inside. And, as Malcolm Gladwell writes: “Lewis is the finest storyteller of our generation.”

Join us on Thursday night, June 11 at the Pan Pacific Hotel, 6:30 pm for an evening with Michael Lewis.

Andre Dubus III

On Monday, June 15: Words & Wine welcomes Andre Dubus III for a conversation about his new novel, The Garden of Last Days.

Following the amazing success of House of Sand and Fog (both as a novel and a film), Dubus ventures again into the dark side of our modern world, where desperate characters are caught up in a plot thundering toward catastrophe. It is a tense psychological thriller, “muscular and disquieting and turn-the-pages-so-fast-you-tear-them good.” (Esquire)

Join us for a night of conversation with Andre Dubus III on fiction, film, family and everything in between onJune 15 at the Pan Pacific Hotel, 6:30 pm.

All Words & Wine evenings are $45 per person, which includes a copy of the author’s new book, all wine and appetizers. Reservations can be made via our website: www.kimricketts.com/wordswine.html. The Words & Wine series is sponsored by the Pan Pacific Hotel Seattle, Ste. Michelle Wine Estates, The Warren Report, Seattle Magazine, and Theo Chocolate .

Yo, buddy, are you friggin’ nuts?!? (video blog)

Warren — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 08:05:02 +0000

I am not an animal. I am a human being. With the memory of an elephant, man. But when I go the movies, I consider the possibility that many other members of the audience belong in the zoo. At a recent screening of THE COVE — perhaps the best doc at SIFF, along with WE LIVE IN PUBLIC — I encountered a creature in my natural habitat that redefined our species and may indicate we have reversed our evolutionary course. Watch today’s THINK piece below for a taste of the horror that is… the modern movie-goer! Then, tell me what we ought to do about this off-camera chimera. Lop off the cowardly lion’s head or gut the voracious ‘scaped goat?

Johnny Weir: Skating on thin ice? (video blog)

Warren — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 17:20:31 +0000

Even before Stan asked Cartman, “what would Brian Boitano do?,” I was inspired by figure skating. There’s just something about the graceful athleticism blanketed in bad Bob Mackie wannabe onesies that makes me smile… and clap… and cry. Thus, I was thrilled to learn that this year’s Seattle International Film Festival would include POP STAR ON ICE, a documentary focused on Johnny Weir, the sport’s most fun, flamboyant and independent spirit. Bad boy or grand champion… you decide.

And I suppose it is in keeping with Johnny’s maverick spirit that I offer today’s THINK piece below, a conversation-starter about how often films and folk heros are pigeon-holed because of the general public’s discomfort with any ambiguities.

Please, let me know where you stand, then watch my interview with filmmakers David Barba and James Pellerito — recorded at Seattle’s first-class Pan Pacific Hotel — to be posted on The Warren Report in the very near future.

We Live In Public and the rent is going up (video blog)

Warren — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 00:39:47 +0000

Dive down the rabbit hole of social media and you’re bound to encounter two virtual ninnies, Twitter-dee and Twitter-dum. Avatars for the masses, they represent the increasingly popular absurdity of concision, the insane notion that any relevant discourse can be generated in exchanges of fewer than 140 characters. Of course, if the absence of wisdom were my only regret, I could denounce myriad media — television for its induction of passivity, video games for their introduction to addictiveness. (Damn you, PopCap, for getting me hooked on Bejeweled! Yes, I am 12-year-old girl.) However, it is social media’s home invasion of privacy that scares the bejeezus out of me. We share our secrets on our computer screens, taking liberties with our intimacies in ways that would make Larry Flynt shudder.

WE LIVE IN PUBLIC documents the origins of social media through the cold, dead eyes of one of its most charismatic pioneers, Josh Harris. Watch today’s THINK piece below for my take on Ondi (DiG!) Timoner‘s film, then click here for my interview with the whip-smart and statuesque director and her debt-defying subject shot on location at Seattle’s posh Pan Pacific Hotel.

Next step: Confess how often you check your Facebook page or tweet over the course of a single day. Do so right here on The Warren Report. Or, text #345AREYOUEFFIN’KIDDINGME?

Warren, The DVD Chaser? (video blog)

Warren — Tue, 19 May 2009 08:06:09 +0000

Must I go to Somalia to find a good pirate? Need I recruit Baretta to keep an eye on/out for Jack Sparrow? I am desperately seeking someone — most assuredly not Susan — who can make an illegal copy of a film that The Warren Report screened recently. The movie’s a comic gem based on a Charles Willeford novel — famed for all of his protagonists’ risible misanthropy — and it’s unavailable on dvd, damnit! It’s just not fair. So, if you have some shady friends, watch the THINK piece below and instruct them to set about their copyright-infringing thaumaturgy.

Before you deliver the dvd to me, though, take a look for yourself, then listen to my conversation with the director, recorded at a FILM RAP session held in conjunction with TheFilmSchool just a month ago. Or, I’ll be forced to heave you by the legs with a running bowline.

As always, I encourage to share your thoughts right here.

The World’s Number One Fan!?! (video blog)

Warren — Thu, 14 May 2009 14:50:16 +0000

Lydia, o Lydia, o have you seen Lydia? Groucho Marx was always on the lookout out for his illustrated lady. Well, no telling where Lydia is, but now she’s got competition for a new generation of stars. Watch today’s THINK piece (below) for my take on a woman whose pursuit of celebrity may be wilder than a crank-fueled Cloris Leachman in the mosh pit at an Anvil concert. I’ve got to wonder how the bumptious David Caruso might respond to Zoe Wade‘s, er, indelible request.

Your thoughts? Share them here. Just sign on the dotted line…

Have I become comfortably numb? (video blog)

Warren — Tue, 12 May 2009 15:36:59 +0000

A critic’s job is akin to a forty-niner’s; both spend their days panning for gold. The veteran reviewer does so in two way: by cherry-picking the best films from amongst the detritus and getting rewarded for those efforts that could only be seen as gold by fools. (All that glitters may just be… GLITTER.) Trust that the critic’s stick is brandished more than the karats are uncovered.

I stumbled upon a substantial nugget a year ago on the festival circuit. Despite a name lead — a well-loved sitcom star! — a solid supporting cast and a smart, sensitive script, this romantic comedy did not receive a proper theatrical release. The Warren Report screened it in conjunction with TheFilmSchool and the audience embraced it. Now, you, too, can fall in love with this overlooked gem. Just watch the THINK piece below for the movie’s identity and a brief analysis of its maker. (Click here for my extended interview with the immensely talented and immensely neurotic writer-director.) Then, rush to your local video store, rent it and draw your own conclusions. I’ll wait for your Report here.

Honing in on The Good Life (video blog)

Warren — Thu, 07 May 2009 17:21:28 +0000

What if you could improve your life simply by changing one fundamental part of your behavior? Would you do it? If you could make yourself happy simply by seeing a glass half full rather than half empty, could you do it? Tonight, I welcome a special guest to The Good Life whose latest book, Rapt: Attention and the Focused Life, promises answers for all of your life’s problems. Much like looking down and realizing your ruby slippers serve as a more successful teleportation device than Jeff Goldblum‘s pods in THE FLY, you’ll be amazed that the solutions have always appeared… right before your eyes.

Watch today’s THINK piece for the identity of tonight’s guest. To reserve your seat at the event, click here.

This week’s dvds? Why not take a SHINE to last week’s? (video blog)

Warren — Tue, 05 May 2009 14:18:46 +0000

A broken clock is right twice a day which is a much better average than these contestants on Hollywood Squares. (God bless Gilbert Gottfried!) Like the malfunctioning timepiece, my chronological sense is duller than Garrison Keillor reading from a Barbara Cartland novel. Thus why I offer tips for last week’s dvd releases… today. My apologies for the delay.

If you absolutely must rent a brand new release today, consider WENDY AND LUCY, the second feature from Kelly (OLD JOY) Reichardt that traces the sorry steps of a young woman, and her title-sharing dog, whilst trekking to Alaska, virtually penniless. Car troubles, money woes and petty justice impede their so-so-laid plans; their unraveling the essence of the film’s “plot.” WENDY AND LUCY doesn’t meander. Michelle Williams may mosey, but her introverted performance is so compelling that it is a pleasure watching her do so very little. Her character is enigmatic though perhaps less so than imagined and in no way the script is willing to reveal. Maybe she is just a member of another lost generation, minus the Francophilia and the literary aspirations, yet nevertheless, a woman without a country… or much hope for the state’s she’s in. (To watch the trailer for WENDY AND LUCY, click here.)

Now, make time for the THINK piece below. And, if you’ve already seen my selections, do share your opinions right here on The Warren Report.

Lighten up, you P.C. motherf**kers! (video blog ; )

Warren — Sun, 03 May 2009 16:17:45 +0000

When did we lose our sense of humor? Was it upon acceptance of Newt Gingrich‘s Contract With America? Should we have read the fine print first? Sure seems like sometime back in the 90s our fellow citizens stopped laughing and started admonishing others for poking fun at anyone, anything, anytime. Now, political correctness trumps levity and we are the worse for our weighty sensitivity. It’s one thing to browbeat Don Imus for his asinine remarks about the Rutgers basketball squad. (The shock-jock is an idiot who alleges he’s a yuckster whenever one of his perverse, racist remarks slips thru his lips.) It is quite another matter to attack paid, professional comedians for…. doing their jobs. You may not agree with Bill Maher, but you needn’t watch him. You may not like Dennis Miller, but he’s easy to tune out. To be fair, those guys do weave governmental invective into their routines as if we were all part of their partisan quilting bees. However, there are plenty of comedians whose only agenda is to make you laugh and even when they fall short of their campaign promises, they ought not be impeached for the effort.

Watch today’s THINK! piece for a recently scapegoated mirth-maker who dared make fun of a minor celebrity. (And I do mean minor.) Then, lighten up… and draw your own conclusions.

BONUS: click here for a clip from my documentary HUMOR ME, in which comedians determine which of their colleagues are no longer (or never were!) funny.

Screw you, Herve Villechaize? (video blog)

Warren — Sat, 02 May 2009 15:26:35 +0000

What do R. Kelly, H.R. Giger, Sarah Jessica Parker, Chad Michael Murray and Kim Jong-Il have in common? No, they are not all appearing on the next edition of Celebrity Apprentice. Instead, they all share a fear that Erica Jong immortalized in the title of her most famous work. While some stars may seek solace in the fact that so many of their fellow luminaries share the phobia, another is taking a bold step, recruiting The Rebel Billionaire to cure her.

Will it work? Watch today’s THINK! piece and draw your own conclusions. Then, help me contact Bill Gates, Warren Buffett or T. Boone Pickens. Or, send Xanax.

(Bonus! Billy Bob Thornton‘s another big name susceptible to mile-high panic attacks. His solution: Get Pat Boone! Read all about his unusual coping mechanism here.)

Who’s afraid of the big bad WOLVERINE?

Warren — Fri, 01 May 2009 06:42:06 +0000

Fox is huffing and puffing because you, dear movie-lovers, blew the house for X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE. (Pigs!) The studio is convinced that early, pirated downloads of the movie will topple this tentpole as if it were a straw-built shack. Now, I don’t doubt the box office for the fourth film in the mutant franchise may underwhelm, but that may have more to do with its content than its premature leakage. Even credited screenwriter David Benioff sounded doubtful about the movie’s merits when I interviewed him for Words & Wine.

So, on what should you spend your hard-earned (or trust-funded) dollars this weekend? Watch today’s THINK piece for my under-publicized pick. Then, go see it at a theater near you and let me know what you think.

(To see a great short film by the director of this week’s top choice, click here.)

Horatio raises Cain by neglecting Hancock?

Warren — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 17:53:40 +0000

Stars.. they’re just like US… only more put upon, apparently. Yes, celebrity comes with a price tag, but you would think those costs would be offset by public adoration, studio compensation and more free swag than you could shake a Nicole Richie at. Of course, if a television star’s ego is twice the size of The Biggest Loser‘s… loser, even the simplest fan request can turn in to an international incident.

Watch today’s THINK piece below, then tell me what you would have done or what this actor should have done. The smartest and/or funniest response/s will receive an autographed keepsake.

For bonus points, tell me about the best or worst celebrity encounter you have personally experienced. (My worst interaction remains my run-in with Christopher Guest… A MIGHTY WIND indeed.)

What’s up? Docs!

Warren — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 14:59:34 +0000

If you’re suffering from IRON MAN deficiency, THE SOLOIST may work as a supplemental cinematic vitamin. However, the most invigorating titles amongst this weekend’s anemic release slate are two documentaries might seem unlikely to charm, but are amongst the best of their respective years. The first has already been nominated for an Academy Award®, the second certainly ought to be. To find out more, watch today’s THINK piece (below), then buy your tickets and draw your own conclusions. Share your reviews here on The Warren Report.

Happy Earth Day to me!

Warren — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 15:24:35 +0000

If you’re still worrying about paper versus plastic, you may just as well wonder whether it is suitable to put a band-aid on a severed carotid artery. The fate of the Earth is in your hands. This is not a time for triage, we know the planet is in critical condition. This is the time for action. Why not start today… before it’s too late. If you wonder how to begin, watch today’s THINK piece, draw your own conclusions and… do something. While you’re at it, buy this book, Getting Green Done: Hard Truths from the Front Lines of the Sustainability Revolution, and listen to my interview with special guest, author Auden Schendler.

Livin’ la vida buena!

Warren — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 16:41:11 +0000

Ricky Martin‘s nuts. I don’t want to live the crazy life, I want to lead THE GOOD LIFE. Thank goodness, the new series — produced by Kim Ricketts Book Events — gives you and me a tremendous opportunity to learn how from some of America’s finest and fittest authors. Earlier this month, Dr. Stuart Brown taught us how to PLAY. Watch the THINK piece below, to get the inside scoop on tomorrow night’s second installment. (I’ve interviewed our guest before and changed my habits immediately. I probably even lost ten pounds!) Once you’ve watched the video blog, please know you can still purchase tickets here. And remember, the nominal fee includes an autographed copy of the guest’s new book, scrumptious snacks courtesy of Tom Douglas’ Palace Ballroom and Theo Chocolate, a coupon to dine at any of Mr. Douglas’ delightful eateries and the chance to take in the (sustainable!) spring creations of Lush Life Floral and the irreverent interview technique of yours truly.

DVD Round-up: THE CHAMP redux and presidential poo

Warren — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 15:56:53 +0000

Ron Howard‘s movies are much like 3-ply toilet paper, preferable perhaps to other brands due to superior production values yet, in the end, just as full of crap. Opie’s efforts are all lavishly staged and simply scripted. They are Spielbergian in their obvious intent to pander to common denominators lower than Verne Troyer at a limbo contest. (Imagine that!) THE DA VINCI CODE, CINDERELLA MAN and A BEAUTIFUL MIND may have been designed as Oscar®-bait, but wound up as chum for undiscriminating critics instead. FROST/NIXON may boast a tremendous performance by Frank Langella as (un)pardonable(?) asswipe Richard Nixon, yet the film still suffers from the director’s affection for bombast and bloat. Instead of renting FROST/NIXON, I suggest you consider the two titles highlighted in the THINK! piece below. Watch today’s video blog, trot to the video store, then draw your own conclusions.

Click here to purchase today’s recommended dvds:
Selection #1 Selection #2

TWILIGHT’s last gleaming?

Warren — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 07:08:50 +0000

Criminal suspects decry any rush to judgement. Hollywood avoids persecution by executing little, if any, judgement at all. And, those bold enough to suggest caution — or better yet, script development, are ostracized. Filmmaker Catherine Hardwicke may be the most recent victim of a major studio’s refusal to consider its options. Watch today’s THINK! piece for my pagan take on TWILIGHT and NEW MOON. Then, draw your own conclusions and share them here on The Warren Report.

Et tu, Klaatu? (video blog/contest)

Warren — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 00:05:09 +0000

20th Century Fox spent $80 million to remake THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL. Perhaps they believed that by “re-imagining” Robert Wise‘s classic, they were paying tribute to that unmatched era of sci-fi storytelling. Whoops. Director Scott Derrickson‘s efforts at homage were no more successful than Pierce Brosnan‘s song-stylings in MAMMA MIA!

If you truly wish to see a genre flick that both celebrates and sends up its cinematic ancestors, check out ALIEN TRESPASS. Directed by RW Goodwin — one of The X-Files‘ conspiratorial producers — the high-spirited, low-budgeted romp perfectly emulates the fantastic films of the 50s. It’s got the preposterously rubber-suited creature, the purposely wooden-smirked performances (Kudos, Eric McCormack!) and the grandiloquent, tin-eared dialogue that recapture every matinee memory from THE BLOB to IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE. Goodwin‘s techniques are flawless, recreating rear-projection and reel changes so convincing you’ll assume you just stepped into a theater in PLEASANTVILLE.

ALIEN TRESPASS is a mirthful throwback, pure joy for audiences who’d rather have an intentional laugh than one at the expense of Keanu Reeves, aka the THE DAZE THE EARTH STOOD FOR.

Click here for my interview with RW Goodwin. Listen to the entire podcast, identify the world’s greatest theremin player — according to the filmmaker — post your answer on this blog and you’ll be eligible to win a full set of official, 50s-style lobby cards for ALIEN TRESPASS. More importantly, go see the movie. Right now. The fate of mankind depends on you. (Watch today’s THINK! piece, below, for a more gesture-filled argument. Speak, hands, for me!)

Economy fizzles; Ken burns

Warren — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 19:30:05 +0000

While the economy plunges downwards faster than Ruben Studdard skydiving, arts funding tumbles with it, victims of their own dependency on corporate sponsorships rather than the public’s actual support. While this may sound tragic, perhaps the resulting depression, literal and emotional, provides an opportunity to re-evaluate the worthiness of some projects and the contributions of their creators. I, for one, find solace in the earth-bound spiral of one filmmaker equipped, apparently, with leaden — not golden — parachute. Watch today’s THINK piece for the identity of this unfortunate soul. Then, register your own ideas for who else might fall head-first.

Don’t butter me up? (video blog)

Warren — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 22:35:16 +0000

I grew up going to the movies. It was about the only thing about which my mom and I were in synch. Given any choice, I’d opt for a weekend matinee and a bucket of popcorn twice the size of Aaron Eckhart‘s head. Of course, that was before Mr. Eckhart had forged a career thanks to Neil LaBute, but trust that had it played when I was a kid, my mother would have taken me to see IN THE COMPANY OF MEN regardless of rating or content. She wouldn’t have gotten it anymore than she did THREE THE HARD WAY, but she would have willingly enabled my filmic addiction while I learned new, exciting words and more ways to be misanthropic.

Not much has changed over the years except now I’d rather stay home and get my fix on dvd. Why? Watch today’s Entertaining Thought for my inflated reasoning. Then, draw your own conclusions and share them here on The Warren Report.

Ass-fishing with David Russo (video blog)

Warren — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 09:04:21 +0000

In filmmaking, you can do things the right way, the wrong way or… David Russo‘s way. Choose the latter and the filmmaker may not be richly rewarded (money’s tight for conceptual artists), but his audiences will be (trippy visuals + trippier story = cinematic high). Watch today’s THINK piece, below, for why I believe so strongly in the vision of Seattle’s most distinct director and why you ought watch today’s podcast, highlights of my Sundance confab with the maker of THE IMMACULATE CONCEPTION OF LITTLE DIZZLE.

Safe and sorry: My dvd tips for the week (video blogs)

Warren — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 17:19:40 +0000

FAST & FURIOUS is just the latest addition to the filmography I like to think of as bio-Diesel. Yes, Vin will be back behind the wheel where he can do what he does best… which is, um, er, keep his hands at ten and two? If you can’t quite remember how the marble-mouthed actor became our designated driver, you could rent (or buy?) today’s Blu-ray releases of PITCH BLACK and its sequel CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK. The original sci-fi flick wasn’t half-bad and actually misled many — including myself — to believe that this new Vin-tage would age well. Instead, he regressed and we got THE PACIFIER and his co-stars were the only ones going (goo-goo) ga-ga over the star.

Enough baby talk. This week’s DVD releases are serious business. Today, I highlight one must-see movie (en Francaise!) and one must-miss title (in plain language) and steer clear of SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE. (I’ve already given you my final answer about the Best Picture Oscar®-winner.) Watch today’s THINK pieces, below, for the identities of these movies.

As always, I am just as excited about your opinions. Help me out. I’ve yet to see MARLEY AND ME. Must I? Is TIMECRIMES a capitol offense? Is SPECIAL all that? So please: Question what you see. Consider what you don’t. Draw your own conclusions. Then, share your thoughts right here on The Warren Report.

Portu-gee-whiz! Bible-thumper’s a MILK dud. (video blog)

Warren — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 10:43:48 +0000

Like kids, priests say the darndest things. Watch today’s THINK piece for another example of out-of-pulpit sermonizing inspired by Hollywood’s heathens. Isn’t it so sad when principals interfere with propheteering?

Draw your own conclusions.

Eat (chocolate), drink and be merry! (video blog)

Warren — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 14:34:07 +0000

The Warren Report is getting on board for Theo Chocolate‘s new landlocked booze cruise. Book passage now for the inaugural trip, this Friday, April 3rd, 2009.

Watch today’s THINK piece for a sneak preview. Then, draw your own conclusions.. and buy your tickets here.

A Modest Proposal: Natasha Richardson (video blog)

Warren — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 16:44:59 +0000

Americans respect Death about as much as they respect the musical stylings of Ashlee Simpson. We begrudgingly acknowledge the somewhat discordant inevitability of both. Cheap sentiment belies our fears and euphemisms mask our mortal worries when others… pass on, cross over, kick the bucket, bite the bullet, shuffle off this mortal coil and settle down for the big sleep of a Mitch Albom audio book.

When celebrities are, er, consigned to the earth, we spout humbling homilies of “tragedy” and “loss” as if these stars were closer to us than family and more valuable than capital gains taxes. But we don’t know really know these folks. Yes, I know: Stars, they’re just like… US! However, I think we should save our blubbering for those within our own bubbles or, better yet, for all the anonymous souls who have truly suffered.

Today, I propose a compromise, a way to properly pay respects for one fallen star while saving another so desperately in need. Watch today’s THINK piece, then draw your own conclusions and share them right here on The Warren Report.

Well, excuuuuussseeee me, SIR! (video blog)

Warren — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 20:28:08 +0000

Do actors make a significant contribution to society? I suppose they can, some have. Certainly, some do make a difference off-screen. Say what you will about Sean Penn, but he did jump into the fray in New Orleans during Katrina*. (For evidence, check out Spike Lee‘s absolutely astonishing documentary, WHEN THE LEVEES BROKE: A Requiem In Four Acts or Carl Deal & Tia Lessin‘s equally stunning TROUBLE THE WATER.) But do actors’ day jobs warrant knighthood?† The Queen of England — sadly not Helen Mirren — regularly rewards favored thespians with a title. But only one of these honored stage-trotters, insists he be referred to as “Sir” at all times, by all parties. He has demanded the title appear in film credits and that his co-stars kowtow in accord with his status. This actor’s contractual requests — knight riders, if you will — are appalling, the nadir of his profession’s vanity. Yes, he has won an Academy Award for Best Actor; fortunately, he has yet to insist that prefix be added to his smug, self-appointed sobriquet. (“Excuse me, Oscar®-winner Sir _________, but might you run lines with me?”)

Tellingly, his fellow knights of the crafts service table object to this actor’s assumed appellation. But what do you THINK? Watch today’s video for the secret identity of Sir Self-Important, then draw your own conclusions. Should actors be eligible for knighthood? Need Obama create a similar reward for American (screen) idols? If so, which cinema vet would you choose to fete? Smart or funny suggestions received on this here blog post by Noon on Monday, March 30th, 2009 might just win film-related sur-prizes.

* The actor’s detractors claim Sean’s appearance in New Orleans was just a publicity stunt. Watch the documentary, read the reports, discuss amongst yourselves. (Feel free to include me in the debate!)

† Delightfully, a quick Google search revealed an article in The New York Times —written more than a hundred years ago! — complaining about the practice. Further proof, that The Warren Report is always current. Like Law & Order, but ripped from… last century’s headlines!

THINK: Who f**ked Jessica Rabbit?

Warren — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 00:31:18 +0000

Is this really what it has come to: ranking the attractiveness of cartoon characters? Will Maxim shoot a spread with Judy Jetson? Will Hugh Hefner offer Marge Simpson a million bucks to work “blue” and bare all?

Recently, Cadbury Dairy Milk quizzed Brits about which toon they thought was the sexiest. Jessica Rabbit (WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT?) scored top honors, begging the question of the survey’s respondents: What’s up, dick? The late(?) Betty Boop finished second, proving UK pervs are truly color-blind. And, who’d have thunk it, the Cadbury’s Caramel Bunny finished third. Does sex sell chocolate to kids or just to hapless adults? (What’s the matter, guys? Could get into the Trek Expo?)

While I do not condone the objectification of women, 2-D or flesh and blood, I do feel required to offer my take in today’s THINK piece below. Please, draw your own conclusions and share them right here on this blog post.

THINK: Walt Disney is making me goofy! (video blog)

Warren — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 15:57:32 +0000

Walt Disney… Nazi sympathizer? While you debate the historic misdeeds of the man behind the Mouse, I’ve been pondering his corporate legacy, a business plan that glorifies greed at the expense of the company’s youthful audience. How long can we tolerate the Magic Kingdom’s less than spectacular sleight-of-hand with its dvd releases: “Now you’ll see ‘em, now you won’t! Har-har-har!” I am tired of classic titles returning to the vault then re-released as premium, super-duper or copper anniversary editions. (Note: PINOCCHIO returns this week on blu-ray, celebrating his 70th birthday. No lie.) Enough already. You’re no longer fooling people, great cryogenically-frozen(?) Uncle Walt. The spinning tea cup ride is over.

Watch today’s THINK piece to see my best Peter Finch impersonation!?!

Real men eat buffalo, dammit!

Warren — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 20:28:46 +0000

James Garner is a metrosexual. Hard to believe, I know, considering the maverick actor shilled for beef — “Real food for real people!” — and survived quadruple by-pass surgery after a long career kicking butt (though not cigarette butts) with manly panache, most notably as Jim Rockford. But next to Steven Rinella, James Garner is a cologne-wearing-brie-eating-smooth-jazz-listening-hippie-dippie-free-lovin’-Dennis-Kucinich-supporting-never-married-to-Mariette Hartley-NOTEBOOK-starring nancy boy. Sorry, Jimbo. The truth hurts.(Or, maybe I’m still pissed I endured TANK.)

Steven Rinella, on the other fist, is the kind of guy Jack London revered: a true-blue-bow-and-arrow-totin’-big-game-smotin’-bathe-in-your-prey’s-blood-drink-your-own-pee-hunky-he-man who’d sooner skin his own meal than skim a few benjamins off his bankroll for some petite sirloin slider and truffle-oiled tater tots at some chi-chi eatery where the waiters are all named Percival or Highsberry and wear mauve waistcoats.

In his first book, The Scavenger’s Guide to Haute Cuisine, Rinella hunted down — and slaughtered when necessary — all the ingredients to (re)create a 3-day, 45-course hoity-toity beast-feast as dictated by Escoffier‘s archaic(?) Le Guide Culinaire. In his latest tome, American Buffalo: In Search of a Lost Icon, the rugged Outdoor journalist is one of only 25* people to win the annual lottery to bag a bison in Alaska. Not only can readers follow his trail, we can also learn more about ourselves through Rinella’s sharp analysis of our nation’s shameful relationship with the noble creatures. American Buffalo reads like the greatest history book/sportsman’s bible ever, as if Hemingway had pointed his shotgun just a little further outward and lived to tell this incredible tale of a modern-day Davy Crockett with the hear of Walt Whitman.

Now, Mr. Rinella will face his greatest challenge; he will be grilled by yours truly at Words & Wine at The Pan Pacific Hotel. Thanks to Kim Ricketts Book Events, you’ll get to listen in, enjoy free wine courtesy of Chateau St. Michelle, free food courtesy of Seastar and get free, autographed copy of American Buffalo. Now, as you are all aware I am one tough sunuvagun and I won’t back off Rinella as easy as some 600-pound grizzly or some free-food-poachin’-personal-space-encroachin’-white-knucklin’-knees-bucklin’ print journalist. James Garner sold us: Beef. It’s what’s for dinner. Come March 26th, I may have a prime steak for dinner, but I’ll make l’il Rinella my amuse bouche! He better bring his A-game and his Bowie knife ’cause I’ve got a taste for blood, my friends.

Please note that once you have purchased your tickets for this literary smackdown, you are to forget you ever read this post and, most certainly, you must not mention this to Mr. Rinella. Pretty please? Okay, I confess. I’m not as bad-ass as you may imagine. When I interviewed Robert Conrad, I didn’t even dare knock that battery off his shoulder… even though he begged me to. Alright, stop hassling me, I’m a wimp. There. I said it. Satisfied? Sheesh, you guys are brutal.

*And one more thing, when you watch today’s THINK piece below, please understand that I simply mispronounced 25 and it came out sounding like 4. Big deal. What are you going to do? Get Mike Leigh to correct me?

This week’s dvds: A final nail in the Kaufman? (video blog)

Warren — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 15:10:19 +0000

(What’s in a name? If it’s Kaufman, chances are you’re an oddball creative. Consider these crackpot namesakes: Lloyd — the “toxic” founder of Troma Entertainment; Andy — the semi-pro wrestler and pre-Joaquin, Letterman tormentor; and, George S. — the Algonquin Round Tabler and Pulitzer Prize winner who fed Groucho his very best lines. Now, there’s Charlie, a gifted screenwriter whose scenarios are almost as peculiar as he is. I’ve interviewed Mr. Kaufman four times — in conjunction with BEING JOHN MALKOVICH, ADAPTATION, ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND and SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK — and each time it’s like meeting Tarzan. Charlie looks human and responds to my voice, yet seems unclear what’s happening, uncertain whether to trust and always prepared to pounce or run should the audience turn. He begins demure, defensive and demoralized until he slowly registers my compliments are sincere, my questions good-spirited. Talking with Charlie is a challenge though always rewarding, much like his movies, particularly his uneven directorial debut, SYNECDOCHE, which comes out on dvd today. (Listen in on the post-show q&a we struggled through here.)

Here are a few other new releases well worth renting…

Got MILK? This year’s Better Picture® is more inspiring than Tony Robbins and Bette Midler serenading you with Wind Beneath My Wings. (Sean Penn earned his Oscar® as Harvey… though I’d ask him to return his award for MYSTIC RIVER and give it to Sir Ben Kingsley for HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG instead.)

RACHEL GETTING MARRIED, LET THE RIGHT ONE IN and CADILLAC RECORDS are also worth a watch. I’ll write more about them soon.

Finally, if I can stop you from renting just one movie this week, let it be Mike Leigh‘s exercise in scurrility, the obnoxiously rose-lensed looked at the life of its lead, an unbelievable Poppy-anna, portrayed perfectly, if infuriatingly, by Sally Hawkins. Despite the edgy appearance of Eddie Marsan as a racist driving instructor — who makes Mel Gibson sound like the President of the Anti-Defamation League — the film cannot overcome its hollow core. Sadly, there is too little of Marsan’s spittle, too much of Hawkins’ twattle. While I have admired many of the filmmaker’s previous efforts, this one made we want to scream: HAPPY-GO-F**K-YOURSELF! For a bit more about what bothered me, watch today’s THINK piece below. (To hear me more restrained, speaking with Mr. Leigh himself, watch the FILM RAP during which George W. Bush gets blamed for another atrocity.)

THINK! An INGLORIOUS trailer (video blog)

Warren — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 07:48:35 +0000

For many, the previews are the best part of the movie-going experience. They are for me. And why not? Watching trailers is like falling in love without the the hassle of the relationship. Often, their appeal is purely superficial and that’s just fine. Quick-cut editing, eye candy and a propulsive underscore… and I’m ready for a one-night stand or a one-year wait. I am such a sucker for coming attractions that I hunt them down on-line fixin’ for that dopamine rush they provide. Yes, most trailers are better than the movies they promote, but at least they offer a legitimate thrill no matter how fleeting, like a cinematic snort of butyl nitrite. (That’s Locker Room or Rush for you brand whores.) Of course, some previews just leave us feeling cheated, like a best friend’s half-assed description of a flat-assed blind date. It was with this trepidation that I readied myself for the INGLORIOUS BASTERDS teaser. Watch today’s THINK piece below for my take on Quentin Tarantino‘s latest come-on.

Then, share your thoughts about your favorite and least favorite trailers of all time. What movies are you most looking forward to this year?

THINK! One Watchman worth watching? (video blog)

Warren — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 16:01:19 +0000

WATCHMEN, reportedly, cost $130 million to make. It is easy to see how those dollars were spent on screen. The movie’s abundant effects are impressive, whether they be Dr. Manhattan‘s perpetual-motion Martian timepiece or Big Blue’s vanishing codpiece and consequently-revealed, telescoping tube-steak. Rorschach’s mask is a particularly well-realized visual. However, I wish Zack Snyder would have sunk just a few more bucks into the cast. Having seen Robert Downey Jr.‘s alchemic performance last year, transforming IRON MAN into box office gold, I thought the evidence was substantive: hire great actors for the silliest roles. Instead, Snyder, the slo-mo yo-yo, has populated WATCHMEN with C-list stars hard-pressed to carry a Sharpee let alone a studio tent-pole. (In both cases, because no fan would ever want or need them to.) Patrick Wilson? Malin Akerman? Jeffrey Dean Morgan? Really? Granted, Billy Crudup is a fine stage actor, but here he’s a monotone monolith in a mo-cap suit that allows for range as dynamic as Stephen Hawking playing shortstop for the Yanks. All that said, one of the WATCHMEN does deserve applause. Take a look at today’s THINK piece, a video blog celebrating the contributions of the unlikeliest superhero. Then, draw your own conclusions and share them on this post.

VideoBlog: I like the night life; I LOVE The Good Life!

Warren — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 19:37:38 +0000

Helllllllllooooooo, Health-lovers!

Early to bed, early to rise makes a (hu)man healthy, wealthy and wise? Is it all about the Benjamin’s… axiom?

Well, as an insomniac, I’ve got the wake-up down pat, not so good on the sleepy part. As an American, I’ve given up on wealth altogether. But, I can still dream of being wise. In turn, I may just end up healthy. Thanks to the amazing Kim Ricketts I just may score two out of three… and now, you can enjoy The Good Life with me!

In Kim’s words: “The Good Life: books for better living series, produced by Kim Ricketts Book Events will be interactive evenings of conversation with authors on tools for creating “the good life.” These events will take place at Tom Douglas’s Palace Ballroom where we will gather together to enjoy appetizers and beverages and an onstage interview of the author by Warren Etheredge of The Warren Report; and our evenings will end with a booksigning and a bit of award winning Theo Chocolate — plus you get the featured book to take home! Lovely arrangements of organic, sustainable flowers will be provided by Lush Life Floral. The series is sponsored in part by Bastyr University.”

Tickets for the events listed are $25 per person — yes, less than the cost of the book! A copy of each author’s new book is included in the ticket price as are appetizers and bites of Theo Chocolate that evening. There will be a cash bar available.

For a complete list of The Good Life’s guests and to order your tickets, click here.

VideoBlog: DVD Pick of the Week?

Warren — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 17:43:01 +0000

For meteorologists, March may come in like a lion, but on dvd, it arrives like a lamb, ready for slaughter. What will you choose to butcher? Of today’s releases, BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA out-performed AUSTRALIA at the box office, but Baz Luhrmann seems a safer bet than Raja Gosnell. Besides, after LOOK WHO’S TALKING NOW, I lost my appetite for conversational canines.

Also hitting the shelves today: a “special edition” of AIR BUD — uh-oh, more pooches! — and THE VILLAGE BARBERSHOP starring John Ratzenberger. (Read my review here.)

Might Sissy (BADLANDS) Spacek save the day? Or must we wait for April showers to end this dvd drought? Watch today’s THINK piece for my forecast…

Break on through to the other side?

Warren — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 15:32:23 +0000

I’ll know we’re truly in a recession when Mexico starts patrolling our shared border looking for Americans sneaking across seeking factory work. Of course, that may not be too far off, but for now, human traffic still flows north. (Ah, NAFTA! Has that deal paid off for anyone?) I guess the Minutemen get to keep their jobs a tad longer than the cast of the new Knight Rider.

Opening in theaters today — though not necessarily everywhere — a new film by Wayne (THE COOLER) Kramer, CROSSING OVER, that explores the efforts of many sorry souls seeking citizenship in Los Angeles. The film stars Harrison Ford, Ray Liotta, Ashley Judd, Alice Braga, Summer Bishil and Oscar®-winner Sean Penn. Check out today’s video blog “preview” for a little more insight and a related book review. (For those who refuse to take notes, I suggest you read Luis Alberto Urrea‘s nail-biting non-fiction tome, The Devil’s Highway.)

Do you have a pick for the week? Or, a tale of your own run for the border? (Midnight-munchy trips to Taco Bell don’t count.) Particularly smart or funny responses posted on this blog just may win prizes!

The Oscars®… My final answer?

Warren — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 08:11:08 +0000

Revamp the Oscars® all you like, it’s still an awards show. And, like any other trophy-trek, it will be long, bloated, tedious and… disappointing. This year’s Academy production sported some changes, but none that really made a difference. Hugh Jackman was charming, though charm remains a poor substitute for funny. Young Hollywood was in attendance, but where was Jack Nicholson? I expect — nay, demand! — to see him in the front row. Sorry, Frank Langella just isn’t as dynamic a presence, especially when not impersonating Tricky Dick.

There were fewer musical numbers, but still one too many. (I remain confused as to why these sorry song-and-dance routines are deemed necessary. To bring in the tony Tony audience? Does Debbie Allen need the work?) And, of course, the winners are selected at odds with their merits. Once again, the fault lies in our stars, not in ourselves. How else to explain SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE‘s triumph? For my final answer, watch today’s video blog… and tell me what you THINK!

Wanted, dead or alive: Oscar®?

Warren — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 15:32:39 +0000

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. It’s a lesson as old as the Bible, cited as recently as SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE. And while I curse the Oscars® for their annual omissions, I do take sick pleasure in some of the ceremonies’ ludicrous inequities. Ah, sweet injustice! When PriceWaterhouseCoopers delivers an envelope sealing the shutout for some over-hyped flick, I rejoice. Take that, loser! Check out this video blog for my fantasy upset of the year…

Best Supporting… Corpse?

Warren — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 02:56:38 +0000

Must we respect the dead? Heck, I’m not even sold on the living. When assessing Oscar® odds, must we automatically succumb to the notion that the dead guy deserves the statuette? Peter Finch was terrific in NETWORK and scored the first posthumously-awarded Oscar®. Will Heath Ledger win the sympathy vote as well? Will goodness prevail or will it be a dark night indeed? Check out my breakdown of the Best Supporting Actor race here….

The Oscars® are coming! Warren’s 1st Gripe.

Warren — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 04:39:14 +0000

Every year, The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences stages their glitzy award show. The Oscars® aren’t just the culmination of an extremely expensive, industry-wide popularity contest, they are also the bane of my critical existence. Never have so many worked so hard to get so much wrong.

Starting now, my countdown to the Oscars®, an informal analysis of the hype and an enumeration of my gripes… plus a prediction or three. Enjoy… but more importantly, let me know what you think.