Think... for a change.
Some young starlets get better reviews for their sex tapes than their movies. Others are better received stepping panty-less from their limos than when baring their souls at auditions. Some [...]
Dads come in all shapes and sizes, full of crullers and weed. They can be negligent or deadbeat, abandoning or abusive. Perhaps, a few, even turn out well. Of course [...]
I am not an animal. I am a human being. With the memory of an elephant, man. But when I go the movies, I consider the possibility that many other [...]
Even before Stan asked Cartman, “what would Brian Boitano do?,” I was inspired by figure skating. There’s just something about the graceful athleticism blanketed in bad Bob Mackie wannabe onesies [...]
Dive down the rabbit hole of social media and you’re bound to encounter two virtual ninnies, Twitter-dee and Twitter-dum. Avatars for the masses, they represent the increasingly popular absurdity of [...]
Must I go to Somalia to find a good pirate? Need I recruit Baretta to keep an eye on/out for Jack Sparrow? I am desperately seeking someone — most assuredly [...]
Lydia, o Lydia, o have you seen Lydia? Groucho Marx was always on the lookout out for his illustrated lady. Well, no telling where Lydia is, but now she’s got [...]
A critic’s job is akin to a forty-niner’s; both spend their days panning for gold. The veteran reviewer does so in two way: by cherry-picking the best films from amongst [...]
What if you could improve your life simply by changing one fundamental part of your behavior? Would you do it? If you could make yourself happy simply by seeing a [...]
A broken clock is right twice a day which is a much better average than these contestants on Hollywood Squares. (God bless Gilbert Gottfried!) Like the malfunctioning timepiece, my chronological [...]
When did we lose our sense of humor? Was it upon acceptance of Newt Gingrich’s Contract With America? Should we have read the fine print first? Sure seems like sometime [...]
What do R. Kelly, H.R. Giger, Sarah Jessica Parker, Chad Michael Murray and Kim Jong-Il have in common? No, they are not all appearing on the next edition of Celebrity Apprentice. [...]
Fox is huffing and puffing because you, dear movie-lovers, blew the house for X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE. (Pigs!) The studio is convinced that early, pirated downloads of the movie will topple [...]
Stars.. they’re just like US… only more put upon, apparently. Yes, celebrity comes with a price tag, but you would think those costs would be offset by public adoration, studio [...]
If you’re suffering from IRON MAN deficiency, THE SOLOIST may work as a supplemental cinematic vitamin. However, the most invigorating titles amongst this weekend’s anemic release slate are two documentaries [...]
If you’re still worrying about paper versus plastic, you may just as well wonder whether it is suitable to put a band-aid on a severed carotid artery. The fate [...]
Ricky Martin’s nuts. I don’t want to live the crazy life, I want to lead THE GOOD LIFE. Thank goodness, the new series — produced by Kim Ricketts Book Events [...]
Ron Howard’s movies are much like 3-ply toilet paper, preferable perhaps to other brands due to superior production values yet, in the end, just as full of crap. Opie’s efforts [...]
Criminal suspects decry any rush to judgement. Hollywood avoids persecution by executing little, if any, judgement at all. And, those bold enough to suggest caution — or better yet, script [...]
20th Century Fox spent $80 million to remake THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL. Perhaps they believed that by “re-imagining” Robert Wise’s classic, they were paying tribute to that unmatched [...]
While the economy plunges downwards faster than Ruben Studdard skydiving, arts funding tumbles with it, victims of their own dependency on corporate sponsorships rather than the public’s actual support. While [...]
I grew up going to the movies. It was about the only thing about which my mom and I were in synch. Given any choice, I’d opt for a weekend [...]
In filmmaking, you can do things the right way, the wrong way or… David Russo’s way. Choose the latter and the filmmaker may not be richly rewarded (money’s tight for [...]
FAST & FURIOUS is just the latest addition to the filmography I like to think of as bio-Diesel. Yes, Vin will be back behind the wheel where he can do [...]
Like kids, priests say the darndest things. Watch today’s THINK piece for another example of out-of-pulpit sermonizing inspired by Hollywood’s heathens. Isn’t it so sad when principals interfere with propheteering?
Draw [...]
The Warren Report is getting on board for Theo Chocolate’s new landlocked booze cruise. Book passage now for the inaugural trip, this Friday, April 3rd, 2009.
Watch today’s THINK piece for [...]
Americans respect Death about as much as they respect the musical stylings of Ashlee Simpson. We begrudgingly acknowledge the somewhat discordant inevitability of both. Cheap sentiment belies our fears and [...]
Do actors make a significant contribution to society? I suppose they can, some have. Certainly, some do make a difference off-screen. Say what you will about Sean Penn, but he [...]
Is this really what it has come to: ranking the attractiveness of cartoon characters? Will Maxim shoot a spread with Judy Jetson? Will Hugh Hefner offer Marge Simpson a million bucks [...]
Walt Disney… Nazi sympathizer? While you debate the historic misdeeds of the man behind the Mouse, I’ve been pondering his corporate legacy, a business plan that glorifies greed at the [...]
James Garner is a metrosexual. Hard to believe, I know, considering the maverick actor shilled for beef — “Real food for real people!” — and survived quadruple by-pass surgery after [...]
(What’s in a name? If it’s Kaufman, chances are you’re an oddball creative. Consider these crackpot namesakes: Lloyd — the “toxic” founder of Troma Entertainment; Andy — the semi-pro wrestler [...]
For many, the previews are the best part of the movie-going experience. They are for me. And why not? Watching trailers is like falling in love without the the hassle [...]
WATCHMEN, reportedly, cost $130 million to make. It is easy to see how those dollars were spent on screen. The movie’s abundant effects are impressive, whether they be Dr. Manhattan’s [...]
Helllllllllooooooo, Health-lovers!
Early to bed, early to rise makes a (hu)man healthy, wealthy and wise? Is it all about the Benjamin’s… axiom?
Well, as an insomniac, I’ve got the wake-up down pat, [...]
For meteorologists, March may come in like a lion, but on dvd, it arrives like a lamb, ready for slaughter. What will you choose to butcher? Of today’s releases, BEVERLY [...]
I’ll know we’re truly in a recession when Mexico starts patrolling our shared border looking for Americans sneaking across seeking factory work. Of course, that may not be too far [...]
Revamp the Oscars® all you like, it’s still an awards show. And, like any other trophy-trek, it will be long, bloated, tedious and… disappointing. This year’s Academy production sported some [...]
The enemy of my enemy is my friend. It’s a lesson as old as the Bible, cited as recently as SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE. And while I curse the Oscars® for their [...]
Must we respect the dead? Heck, I’m not even sold on the living. When assessing Oscar® odds, must we automatically succumb to the notion that the dead guy deserves the [...]
Every year, The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences stages their glitzy award show. The Oscars® aren’t just the culmination of an extremely expensive, industry-wide popularity contest, they [...]
