Draw your own conclusions.
Some young starlets get better reviews for their sex tapes than their movies. Others are better received stepping panty-less from their limos than when baring their souls at auditions. Some [...]
Dads come in all shapes and sizes, full of crullers and weed. They can be negligent or deadbeat, abandoning or abusive. Perhaps, a few, even turn out well. Of course [...]
I am not an animal. I am a human being. With the memory of an elephant, man. But when I go the movies, I consider the possibility that many other [...]
Even before Stan asked Cartman, “what would Brian Boitano do?,” I was inspired by figure skating. There’s just something about the graceful athleticism blanketed in bad Bob Mackie wannabe onesies [...]
Dive down the rabbit hole of social media and you’re bound to encounter two virtual ninnies, Twitter-dee and Twitter-dum. Avatars for the masses, they represent the increasingly popular absurdity of [...]
Must I go to Somalia to find a good pirate? Need I recruit Baretta to keep an eye on/out for Jack Sparrow? I am desperately seeking someone — most assuredly [...]
Lydia, o Lydia, o have you seen Lydia? Groucho Marx was always on the lookout out for his illustrated lady. Well, no telling where Lydia is, but now she’s got [...]
A critic’s job is akin to a forty-niner’s; both spend their days panning for gold. The veteran reviewer does so in two way: by cherry-picking the best films from amongst [...]
What if you could improve your life simply by changing one fundamental part of your behavior? Would you do it? If you could make yourself happy simply by seeing a [...]
A broken clock is right twice a day which is a much better average than these contestants on Hollywood Squares. (God bless Gilbert Gottfried!) Like the malfunctioning timepiece, my chronological [...]
When did we lose our sense of humor? Was it upon acceptance of Newt Gingrich‘s Contract With America? Should we have read the fine print first? Sure seems like sometime [...]
What do R. Kelly, H.R. Giger, Sarah Jessica Parker, Chad Michael Murray and Kim Jong-Il have in common? No, they are not all appearing on the next edition of Celebrity Apprentice. [...]
Fox is huffing and puffing because you, dear movie-lovers, blew the house for X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE. (Pigs!) The studio is convinced that early, pirated downloads of the movie will topple [...]
Stars.. they’re just like US… only more put upon, apparently. Yes, celebrity comes with a price tag, but you would think those costs would be offset by public adoration, studio [...]
If you’re suffering from IRON MAN deficiency, THE SOLOIST may work as a supplemental cinematic vitamin. However, the most invigorating titles amongst this weekend’s anemic release slate are two documentaries [...]
If you’re still worrying about paper versus plastic, you may just as well wonder whether it is suitable to put a band-aid on a severed carotid artery. The fate of [...]
Ricky Martin‘s nuts. I don’t want to live the crazy life, I want to lead THE GOOD LIFE. Thank goodness, the new series — produced by Kim Ricketts Book Events [...]
Ron Howard‘s movies are much like 3-ply toilet paper, preferable perhaps to other brands due to superior production values yet, in the end, just as full of crap. Opie’s efforts [...]
Criminal suspects decry any rush to judgement. Hollywood avoids persecution by executing little, if any, judgement at all. And, those bold enough to suggest caution — or better yet, script [...]
20th Century Fox spent $80 million to remake THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL. Perhaps they believed that by “re-imagining” Robert Wise‘s classic, they were paying tribute to that unmatched [...]
While the economy plunges downwards faster than Ruben Studdard skydiving, arts funding tumbles with it, victims of their own dependency on corporate sponsorships rather than the public’s actual support. While [...]
I grew up going to the movies. It was about the only thing about which my mom and I were in synch. Given any choice, I’d opt for a weekend [...]
In filmmaking, you can do things the right way, the wrong way or… David Russo‘s way. Choose the latter and the filmmaker may not be richly rewarded (money’s tight for [...]
FAST & FURIOUS is just the latest addition to the filmography I like to think of as bio-Diesel. Yes, Vin will be back behind the wheel where he can do [...]
Like kids, priests say the darndest things. Watch today’s THINK piece for another example of out-of-pulpit sermonizing inspired by Hollywood’s heathens. Isn’t it so sad when principals interfere with propheteering? [...]
The Warren Report is getting on board for Theo Chocolate‘s new landlocked booze cruise. Book passage now for the inaugural trip, this Friday, April 3rd, 2009. Watch today’s THINK piece [...]
Americans respect Death about as much as they respect the musical stylings of Ashlee Simpson. We begrudgingly acknowledge the somewhat discordant inevitability of both. Cheap sentiment belies our fears and [...]
Do actors make a significant contribution to society? I suppose they can, some have. Certainly, some do make a difference off-screen. Say what you will about Sean Penn, but he [...]
Is this really what it has come to: ranking the attractiveness of cartoon characters? Will Maxim shoot a spread with Judy Jetson? Will Hugh Hefner offer Marge Simpson a million bucks [...]
Walt Disney… Nazi sympathizer? While you debate the historic misdeeds of the man behind the Mouse, I’ve been pondering his corporate legacy, a business plan that glorifies greed at the [...]
James Garner is a metrosexual. Hard to believe, I know, considering the maverick actor shilled for beef — “Real food for real people!” — and survived quadruple by-pass surgery after [...]
(What’s in a name? If it’s Kaufman, chances are you’re an oddball creative. Consider these crackpot namesakes: Lloyd — the “toxic” founder of Troma Entertainment; Andy — the semi-pro wrestler [...]
For many, the previews are the best part of the movie-going experience. They are for me. And why not? Watching trailers is like falling in love without the the hassle [...]
WATCHMEN, reportedly, cost $130 million to make. It is easy to see how those dollars were spent on screen. The movie’s abundant effects are impressive, whether they be Dr. Manhattan‘s [...]
Helllllllllooooooo, Health-lovers! Early to bed, early to rise makes a (hu)man healthy, wealthy and wise? Is it all about the Benjamin’s… axiom? Well, as an insomniac, I’ve got the wake-up [...]
For meteorologists, March may come in like a lion, but on dvd, it arrives like a lamb, ready for slaughter. What will you choose to butcher? Of today’s releases, BEVERLY [...]
I’ll know we’re truly in a recession when Mexico starts patrolling our shared border looking for Americans sneaking across seeking factory work. Of course, that may not be too far [...]
Revamp the Oscars® all you like, it’s still an awards show. And, like any other trophy-trek, it will be long, bloated, tedious and… disappointing. This year’s Academy production sported some [...]
The enemy of my enemy is my friend. It’s a lesson as old as the Bible, cited as recently as SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE. And while I curse the Oscars® for their [...]
Must we respect the dead? Heck, I’m not even sold on the living. When assessing Oscar® odds, must we automatically succumb to the notion that the dead guy deserves the [...]
Every year, The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences stages their glitzy award show. The Oscars® aren’t just the culmination of an extremely expensive, industry-wide popularity contest, they are [...]
