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The 13th Warrior

Posted on: Friday, August 27th, 1999
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Antonio Banderas is a skittish Arab prince who turns trickadeckaphobic when an oracle draws bones to decide which thirteen brutes will battle a bear-lovin’ band of flesh-eating zombies. For better or Norse, Mr. Griffith is chosen to fight alongside the dirty dozen, quickly learning a petty ghoul ain’t like a Melanie. Will the mini, sort-of Viking beat out the unlucky odds or will he be devoured with the other male chauvinist long-pigs? THE THIRTEENTH WARRIOR cannibalizes old-school
cliffhangers, but is not, itself, well cliff-hung. Director John McTiernan
colorfully depicts the old adage: live fast, dine hard. Flashy photography,
snappy editing and a solid score make this movie easier to swallow; but tasteless gore and a bland conclusion can’t keep a good meal down. Throw up my arms? I won’t. But neither will I flash two thumbs down. This recipe calls for … 6 magic bullets.

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